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life unexpected…

And so it happened again… no matter how hard I try… my happiness for one daughter gets caught up with sadness for my other…

As a mom we watch our children change before our eyes. In the early years it is almost a miracle to watch the development of a newborn to a walking and talking toddler.

Sarah, my oldest, a very precocious and fashion minded toddler. Who I watched blossom through her youth and teens, now into her 20’s, a college graduate ready to “make it on her own.” (At least if you ask her that is what she thinks)

Well, this is what we want for our children, we want them to be happy and healthy, have security in a job and find happiness for their lives….

Butttt…. In the moment of watching Sarah grown up… graduation… and now getting ready to figure out how to move onto that next chapter in her life… I get caught up holding onto Hadley and wishing that she just had the chance to do one of these things… I do look at Hadley and marvel in all that she is and all that she has brought us, but sometimes ya know… I just wish… for more….

About shelley

Shelley Kramm is the founder and editor of I'm Still Standing and The DC Ladies. Learn more about her and her inspirational family here and connect with her on Twitter, Facebook, Linkedin, Google+ and on

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  1. I also have two girls (and one boy) – one with and one without cerebral palsy. And yes I look at Smiley and wondr what might have been and could I have done more. But she is happy, almost all the time, and as you say that is what we want for our kids most of all, so I will celebrate that her life seems good to her.

  2. There are days when I realize that I am more comfortable in the limitations of my disease than my mom is. While it's something that we, as your children struggle with ourselves, we don't deal with – or even necessarily understand – the guilt and wants that our parents have for us.

    I know without a doubt that BOTH of your daughters are grateful for what they have in life, and for having you. <3

  3. A friend of mine called this 'living grief' – that you still live, love and laugh but a part of you always grieves for who they would have been were it not for (in our case) their dodgy chromosome and cerebral palsy.

    Then I wonder if our son feels the same way – seeing his brothers grow and change and just wanting even a whiff of it.

    But then it starts to hurt too much.

  4. Such a sweet story… Thanks for sharing…..

  5. What a wonderful post! Thank you!

  6. Wow – I can't imagine, and yet from this post, I kind of can. Prayers and good wishes going out to you and other moms is this situation. I admire your strength!