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Ignorance is bliss…

bird looking away from others
photo credit: The Dream Sky

“abortions are good is surprisingly absent from her list.”

Was the statement that stunned me as I sat and stared at my comments.

OK, I understand the whole freedom of speech thing but come on this was a post where I as a special needs mother poured my heart out with 10 things that this has taught me

If you read my blog you know that my daughter suffered a bilateral grade two hemorrhage on her 10th day of “life”. I didn’t know that the medical community could perform an “abortion” after a baby had already been born…

An abortion… because I wrote I was a special needs mom…

Come on now… talk about lack of sensitivity and understanding…

Funny enough, when I look back I see that the number 1 thing, right at the pinnacle, of 10 things being a special needs mother has taught me is; “ignorance is bliss” Serendipity? I think not…

About shelley

Shelley Kramm is the founder and editor of I'm Still Standing and The DC Ladies. Learn more about her and her inspirational family here and connect with her on Twitter, Facebook, Linkedin, Google+ and on

Other places to find shelley


  1. I can't believe someone would write that. Reddit people can be ruthless, I know. What's worse is that that person probably grew up with a discontented, awful mother – to feel that they have the right to say such a thing about someone else. And audacity to say it publicly.

    These past few weeks I've been learning just how difficult life can be. I hope the hurt doesn't last too long, Shelley. I'm sorry that you had to suffer that kind of meanness even if only for a moment.

  2. Pardon me?!?! Unbelievable! Well, let's refrase that: I am sorry to say that I believe some people really belief this. But it is absolutely something that for the life of me I can't understand. Really. Like really!!
    Special needs kids are "special" in many ways – and they have a right to be, in every sense of the word "be". I know, cuz I know several. And I love em to bits!
    Don't let anyone ever say any different!!

  3. Wow Shelly! I can't believe someone wrote that!? I think the internet gives people the boldness to say (stupid) things that they would NEVER say face to face. I love the fact that you took the power back and blogged about it! Keep your head up!

  4. Oh, Shelley, ignore the ignorant. I bet that person wrote under "anonymous" too, right? Anyone who leaves a comment like that lives in a world where no one actually pays attention to them or listens to what they say, so they feel the need to try to hurt someone anonymously to get a reaction out of them. I wouldn't even try to make sense out of the comment which, as you say, is totally stupid anyway. I'm sorry that happened.

  5. I don't have words for how terrible that comment is.

    Just really really wrong, hateful, mean, awful…

  6. I don't even know what to say…

    In all 12 years of teaching I had the HONOR of working with countless special needs kids in both self-contained and inclusive settings – I can't imagine my life, my learning and my career without them. "Abortion" is not something that ever entered my mind even on our most difficult days, I can't imagine someone thinking it would enter the mind of a mother of a special needs mom!

    Shelley, my thinking is that the person who wrote this has had no personal experience with special needs children…

    All the best,
    Nicole :)

  7. It's amazing what some people have the gall to say when they are hiding behind their computer screens.
    That goes way beyond lack of sensitivity. There was no call for such a hateful comment. I just can't imagine what it must be like to be the kind of person.

  8. As a woman who has had an abortion many years ago, the heart ache it brings transcends anything else. That is something that women like this don't understand nor do they want to. Freedom of speech is good but it just shows who is an idiot and who isn't! Keep standing, Shelley! The SITS girls have your back!

  9. how awful. there are terrible ppl out there. i wonder what they would think if the same thing happened to them? but there are wonderful ppl, out there too. You are an amazing mom and person.

  10. Totally unacceptable… Some people shouldn't be allowed to mingle with civilized society.

  11. Shelley – I think it takes your inner strength to ignore these kind of ignorant, insensitive comments.

  12. Did they post anonymously? If they did they are total cowards! I have just had experience of a Claire Khaw who commented on a radio broadcast, radio 5 in the uk, saying that children with special needs were a drain on the tax payers money and that they should be dealt with at birth or put down later on!!!! I think she may be hitler reincarnated

  13. People can be so cruel. What I assume was a sad attempt at humor just proves that whoever left that comment is as narrow-minded as they come. There is no reason to think that your daughter, or any other special needs person, couldn't or shouldn't live a full & happy life. Shame on him/her for being so judgemental . People like that are sometimes the biggest obstacles in a special needs life.

  14. I am still flabbergasted…. what an ignorant and uncaring person left that comment.

    The freedom of speech sure brings out all the cowards on the internet. The ones that would have no guts to come out and say it in a real world.

    Obviously this person doesn't believe in "if you don't have something nice and intelligent to write don't comment". Akismet should come up with LOSER filter.

  15. What a spineless comment to make. Shame on them.

    *hugs* Try not to let it get to you. You have so many people who love and support both you and your family.

  16. That is horrible! Why do people think they have the right to say things like that to another person! It is a sad,scary world we live in :(


  17. I used to have a blogging friend, a Catholic dad who was also a recovering alcoholic who had worked through his fair share of heartache and anger. He has a tattoo on his arm that reads "Even You." And what that means is that everyone, yes, even you, the asshole who left such a horrible comment on Shelley's post, is deserving of God's love and mine, as an extension of God's divine presence on Earth.

    Some folks, like this one, strain my capacity to show, feel, or express that love, but clearly, if she or he could think about suggesting such a thing, s/he is obviously very much in need of that love.

    Shelley, I'm so sorry you had to read that.

  18. there is a right to life and a right to choice. that choice sort of becomes moot when the child is already born..
    this was thoughtless and Shelley you deserve better

  19. Oh my gosh. I had read some stuff on twitter about bad comment/ignorance, but had no idea that it would be that bad.

    That is an extremely awful thing to say.

    Dawn expressed it well in her comment.

    People think they can say anything, just because it's the internet.

  20. As the others have already mentioned, people can be unbelievably cruel, ignorant, and malicious when hiding behind the anonymity of the internet. The good news is that the vast majority of people in this world all agree that this is simply horrific.

    Know all the amazing work and positive energy that you put out into the world through this blog, through being a wonderful mother and friend, through SITS, that you are loved and appreciated by so many.

  21. Ugh! Shelley! Unbelievable! What is wrong with people? Your amazing life shows that you are leagues away from this person. This person is too ignorant to get anywhere near your heart.

  22. I suspect this is the same person who came from Reddit to my blog and left a long comment on a post about the antics of my preschoolers that basically was a treatise for dad-dominant parenting and an exposition on spanking…

    Delete/ignore and move on.

  23. So sorry to hear that!

  24. Completely uncool. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. The anonymity of the keyboard gives some people license to voice their ignorance.

  25. I am sorry that this is such a touchy subject :(

  26. So sorry you got a comment like that. The person was truly ignorant. Unfortunately there are people like that out there. Know that you are loved by many many others for what you are doing!

  27. Thank you for sharing this with us Shelley. Don't let one bad apple spoil the barrel. We do have your back as best we can. Visit my 'special reader' post when you can.

  28. Shelly,

    Since I have a daughter with Down Syndrome, I have actually had people ask me if I had an amnio. As if to say that she and her inconvenient disability could have been prevented. People have freedom of speech and choice and I respect that whole heartedly. In turn, I expect people to respect my choice to have my daughter, who lives a full, happy, wonderful life.
    Good for you for this post. These sorts of comments can be a real kick in the gut.