I am so upset… Can someone please pass me a cup of coffee? I can’t remember being this upset since I was in school and worried about a grade NOT that I ever got a grade like this one…

Last week I realized that I had my Google Analytics entered in my HTML wrong. Well, they must have been wrong. I had entered the code a year earlier and I forgot about them. Maybe I didn’t forget, maybe, I just put looking at them off, kind of like weighing myself when I wasn’t on a “diet.” And just figured they were “there.” Sooo last week I thought I’d check them out and see what they had to “tell” me… And they told me I had “nothing”…. “Nothing” how could that be possible? So with some research and lots of time I figured out that I had the code in the wrong place… At that point, I put the code in the “right” place and figured I’d wait a week or so and check back. So, that is what I did smiling all the way… And then I saw it… Oooo boy, this is what they told me, my “bounce” rate “SUCKS!”… The bounce rate column was glaring at me…. 60%; what is that a “D?” Oh my god, do I dare say it? “I failed”… According to Google I’m failing!

Wahhhh, please pass the tissues… I don’t get it… I’m a “nice person” your average run of the mill lady… Mom…. Special Needs Mom yet… like most of America I have a weight issue that I have been working on… I have stories… I have good storiesI’m engaging… or so I thought… I spent a lot of time working with a designer on my site, so I thought it was pretty as well as functional… I know content is “king” I have heard that several times. However, I “thought” my content was good, no grammar or spelling errors, maybe not king but certainly princess material… Definitely NOT that of the…. JOKER!!!

So what is a “bounce rate?” According to Google… “Bounce rate is the percentage of single-page visits or visits in which the person left your site from the entrance (landing) page. Use this metric to measure visit quality – a high bounce rate generally indicates that site entrance pages aren’t relevant to your visitors. The more compelling your landing pages, the more visitors will stay on your site and convert. You can minimize bounce rates by tailoring landing pages to each keyword and ad that you run. Landing pages should provide the information and services that were promised in the ad copy.”

I spent all night tossing and turning… Why don’t “they” like me? I thought about what I do when I visit a site… How long do I stay? Does one post inspire me to check out more and more…? Honestly, if we are being brutally honest, which I think we are this morning! There are not too many sites that I spend more than a few minutes on… Unless we are talking about someone like the all mighty Pioneer Women… but come on how many sites are like hers? And honestly, I think she has a bunch of “elves” that live with her…

Do you know “your” Google analytics? Do I dare ask you what they are?