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Ten things being the mother of a special needs child has taught me.

I am constantly inundated with a facebook survey sent from friends about “the top 25 things you may not know about me.” I started to write this at least a dozen times and when I get to the fifth thing I just say “forget it, I’m sure that my things sound so much like everyone else’s.” And frankly who cares what my favorite ice cream is (not that I eat it) or what my favorite movie is or what time I came home on the night of my prom. (Well that would be easy because I did not go-but that’s another story).

The more I pondered on this survey the more I thought about my life and how different it has been from so many of my friends, because I have been raising a special needs child for seventeen years. And then I decided it would be better to write “Ten things being the mother of a special needs child has taught me.”

This has been the greatest lesson in my life, definitely frustrating at times constantly questioning the almighty for delivering Ainsley to us but in the end when all is said and done and I put my head on my pillow at night I thank god for giving her to us because through her disability she has taught us all so much about life.

So here goes: Ten things being the mother of a special needs child has taught me.

Being the mother of a special needs child has taught me that “ignorance is bliss”, saying something to an adult staring at a child in a wheelchair is sometimes really hard to resist…

Being the mother of a special needs child has taught me to be patient with everything, which is just taken for granted a healthy child will bring…>

Being the mother of a special needs child has taught me that I do have courage to go on and it’s ok to cry, sometimes you just need to take a breath and give a little sigh…

Being the mother of a special needs child has taught me to be understanding of those less fortunate then you, as someday this could be your life too…

Being the mother of a special needs child has taught me to manage my time, since I have spent so many hours juggling doctors and therapists and work you would have thought I would have lost my mind…

Being the mother of a special needs child has taught me that I know what is best for my child, even if I have to fight city hall which at times can get wild…

Being the mother of a special needs child has taught me that there is a time and place for everything, and sometimes a giggle might just be the right thing…

Being the mother of a special needs child has taught me about hope, even with the smallest glimmer of things like toileting when I thought I was coming to the end of my rope…

Being the mother of a special needs child has taught me that I am stronger than I thought I could be. I have become a hematologist, neurologist, nurse, pharmacist, physical therapist, occupational therapist, speech therapist, personal assistant, manager, special educator, professional fundraiser, inspirational speaker, and an advocate all bundled up into the mom you can plainly see….

Being the mother of a special needs child has taught me unconditional love which I know came from my inner belief from the almighty above. I used to question why this did happen to me, and now although at times it is still hard to understand I cannot image what life without my daughter would be…

About shelley

Shelley Kramm is the founder and editor of I'm Still Standing and The DC Ladies. Learn more about her and her inspirational family here and connect with her on Twitter, Facebook, Linkedin, Google+ and on about.me.

Other places to find shelley

Comments

  1. Soccer Mom In Heels says:

    Awww~ this is awesome! You have amazing inner strength that we all admire! You are a wonderful mom!!! Love your blog! Amy :)

  2. Wonderful BLOG Shelley! People take soooo much for granted…most of the time age brings insight and wisdom…some of the time, one needs to hear others experiences to remind them how different their own life could be…

  3. this is amazing. Before I had my child, I had such a fear that I wouldn’t be able to handle a special needs child, my anxiety was so bad that I decided to never have kids and work with families instead of starting my own. Working with moms who had kids with special needs taught me so much about motherhood and children and life that I knew I could do it too.
    My son was born “normal”, but without the strength of people like you he would have never been born at all.

  4. Beautiful post, Shelley. I have a difficult time slowing down to read several posts on a site, but it was very easy to do here. Thank you for providing this wonderful perspective. Time for me to do a little reflecting about what’s important… I look forward to reading more!
    Katy

  5. Wonderful post. My daughter is also special needs. I know how it is.

  6. This is such a wonderful post that it inspired me to write a similar type of post on my blog. Here We Go Again
    Thank you for helping me feel better.

  7. I'm Blog "exploring" today. I have met the most fabulous, incredible people and after hearing so much bad, blogging renews my faith, hope and belief in the goodness of beings.

    Yours is special. I felt I must start at the beginning, so here I go. I will be following you and hope over time we become friends, too!

    I also started my Blog in April! I am entering my 2nd life … as a painter. After some bad times, the whole world has opened up to me and my life is so full with meaning and future that I am ONE HAPPY WOMAN!

    Thank you for sharing your wonderful stories. I am anxious to read every post!
    Beckie
    Painting With Erin and Annie

  8. This is a beautiful post! I was a special educator up until my son was born seven months ago. I learned so much from my amazing students. Thanks for sharing!

  9. Shelley – the inner strength is a big one – you never know how strong you are until you need to. You are pushed to your limits and find that your limits aren't where you thought they were – the limits are way further out than you thought. That inner strength grows as you need it! Also – you do know what is best for your child. I wish parents had more confidence in this one, but sometimes it just takes experience to believe it. thank you for a great post!

  10. Thanks for sharing Shelley. Nobody really knows why stuff happens. It just does. Sounds like you have learned to meet it with grace and an attitude of gratitude for all that you have.
    Sandra

  11. I read this post just when I needed to hear it. I am the mother of a child with a disability. There are times that I have wanted to give up, give up with all the Drs appt, all the hospitals that we have been too, just everything. But I know if I don't fight for him then who will? He needs me and I will continue to fight for him until I am unable to fight anymore.

  12. Being this mom has taught me to also take care of me. If I don't do that, I will go crazy. I have to make time for excercise (my way of de-stressing) and to know that I can't concentrate on the little things.

    I have to look at the end results, so if homeword isn't done, and if the multiplication tables are memorized, can he get a job at the age of…? I think so. I shrug and go on.

    Your post was lovely and tear jerking. Us moms have learned to smile and to hold in tears for the simplest thing as your child taking a shower all by hisself!

  13. Sonya thank you sooo much for including my list in your wonderful post! I’d love to have you guest post on my site now that i’m up and running again…. feet on ground…. running! lol but you know… i’m still standing…. <3

Trackbacks

  1. […] what is best for you and your child. This acknowledgement even ended up on one mom’s top 10 list of things she learned from having a special needs child. I had lunch with a friend who I wanted to introduce to a special ed advocate, and after the lunch […]