Subscribe via: Email RSS

It was a moment… but a life altering moment

Your child has “cerebral palsy” with a kick to the gut and a brush of cold reality this is how the therapist told me. No nice, please sit down, pull up a chair, put your baby down and let’s talk… it was a fast cold harsh diagnosis.

It was November and I can remember thinking on the way over to the appointment what I needed to do for our holiday celebration, shopping, cooking, flowers, you have to have flowers, ironing the table cloth. Nowhere in there was there thinking about a life altering diagnosis which would forever change my daughter’s life but also all of ours who care for her.

I remember I just sat there and held my daughter and stared at this woman who so crassly changed my world with the stroke of five words. Cerebral Palsy; What would this mean for her, for us? And as she abruptly got up as fast as the words fell out of her mouth I just sat and wondered…
How am I going to do this?
What about school?
What about friends?
What about ballet with her sister?
What about her prom?
What about college?
What about her wedding and grandchildren?

I sat there and watched one life vanish before my eyes and another unknown one begin. It was as if I had lost one baby and given birth to another in the same moment…
Then the…
Why me?
Why us?
We have always been good people, how could this happen to our family?
Why did god do this to us?

I picked up my daughter and brought her out to the car in her car seat and I remember I just sat there and cried… and cried… as I kept looking at her in my rear view mirror.

When I got home, which was thru the grace of god because I’m not quite sure how I drove and cried with so much on my mind. I picked up my daughter from her car seat and brought her in the house. And as I did this she looked at me with her big beautiful eyes and smile and I knew this wasn’t going to be easy but look at her, she was beautiful and I was blessed with her just the way she was, and I was going to be dammed if I was going to let some stupid diagnosis change the way I was going to raise my daughter. Screw that! I was going to give her the best life I possible could! I was determined to make each day of her life a little easier anyway I could.

My daughter is now 17 years old and not a day has gone by that I don’t wish a magic wand could give my daughter her “legs” or a “voice” but I love her just the way she is, she is my child, my beautiful beautiful child!

About shelley

Shelley Kramm is the founder and editor of I'm Still Standing and The DC Ladies. Learn more about her and her inspirational family here and connect with her on Twitter, Facebook, Linkedin, Google+ and on about.me.

Other places to find shelley

Comments

  1. very, very sweet post! She is beautiful!

  2. Your daughter is lucky to have such a wonderful mom! Your post made me teary, it was so sweet!

    Erin

  3. You are amazing.

  4. Beautiful post!

    And congrats on winning the One Lovely Blog Award. Find the details on my blog: http://betterthanboogers.blogspot.com/

  5. What a great post!

  6. You daughter is beautiful!!!! We received the cp news with, “Your son have bilateral closed lipped schizencephaly. He won’t walk, talk, and will probably pass away before age 5”. WHAT? Doctors can never give us a for sure. HOORAY for you for being the best advocate for your child.

  7. We had a similar introduction to our son’s diagnosis. Since then, we’ve been able to see the streaming of diagnosis that have come about before they were given. We didn’t want to be in that position again. It’s not a fun one to be in.

    As for the magic wand – I’ve only been wishing for 6 years. Our son is 6. I can’t imagine 17, but know I will be there all too soon.

    You’re a good Mom.

  8. She is beautiful.
    I remember driving home from the Genetesist after she gave us Gianna’s diagnosis and I asked GoD all of those same questions. As she is growing some are getting answers, some are getting easier and the rest we just take day by day!

  9. I love the way you write Shelley; I am looking forward to hearing more from you! thanks for sharing with us. I could really feel what you were writing. xx

  10. Oh Shelley, that was a beautiful post!

  11. Such a sweet & beautiful post!

  12. You are an amazing woman and mom!
    Great job momma:)

  13. I just wanted to let you know that I awarded you something in my blog! Check it out! http://www.beautybloggingmom.blogspot.com

  14. Your post brought tears to my eyes. The only thing I deal with is ADHD with my 10 yo daughter. A friend’s daughter has CP and she’s such a sweet girl. God Bless you Shelly!

  15. I totally know that feeling – TOTALLY …

    I just wanted to let you know that I have an award for you over on my blog!! Go pick it up and enjoy!! http://www.moonnstarmommy.blogspot.com

  16. That is one hugely moving post. Absolutely beautifully written. Thank you for this (has started my day in exactly the right way) and also thank you for the warm welcome on the mommybloggers site….
    Janex

  17. I have something for you on my blog

  18. My mom was determined to raise me just like my twin brother no matter my diagnosis. She wanted me to have every opportunity that came my way. I’m happy to say she’s done that and more.

    Beautiful post.

  19. Thank you for sharing the beginning of your journey with us. You are an inspiration. I’m going to add your button to my blog.

    http://www.luvnharmony.wordpress.com

  20. What a great post. It really touched my heart and the feelings I also feel with my sons anxiety disorder. I have awarded you an award on my site, stop by and grab it :) http://momsonthego1.blogspot.com/

  21. I love your post. My oldest son has Sensory Integration Dysfunction. The first few years of his life were very trying on all of us. I admire your perseverance. Your daughter was/is blessed to have a mother like you.